A few years ago, a family member introduced me to someone who wanted to climb Denali. My family member knew I’ve intended to climb it for a long time, but the timing has never worked out. When I first met this person, they immediately started talking about Denali plans and asked if I’d want to climb with them. I was caught off guard, and immediately declined the idea. I had no problem with the idea of climbing it one day, but I didn’t know them yet. I wanted to understand who they were, what drove them, and how they thought about risk before ever stepping onto a mountain together.
They suggested maybe we climb Rainier or Shasta together first then. That way we could get a feel for each other before heading to Denali. I again declined. When they asked why, I shared my thoughts on picking not just my ski but climbing partners. I suggested we start with coffee instead. I wanted to talk about our goals, our motivations, how we approach the mountains, thoughts on risk and our tolerance for it before we ever talk about climbing together. It’s an important conversation to have before you’re in the middle of an objective and find out your partner sees things in a much different way than you. I tell this story often in guiding and avalanche courses because it sums up what I think is the single most important part of backcountry travel: your partners.
Choosing the right partner is also one of the hardest things we do. It’s not just about sharing lines or snacks (although that can be a bonus), but it’s about trust, communication, and a shared approach to risk. A strong partner listens, encourages, and respects your decisions. They don’t push you into terrain that doesn’t feel right. They’re honest when they’re unsure. Sometimes a “yes” might come with hesitation, and a “no” is simply a boundary that needs to be honored. That kind of awareness keeps everyone relaxed, honest, and makes the day far more enjoyable.
Finding partners like that often means making hard choices. You may need to step back from skiing or climbing with certain people. That can mean that the people you ski something like Mt Shasta with are different than those you tour with at Lassen National Park, or storm days vs. bluebird days. It can be a challenge, and at times cause uncomfortable conversations. You need to give yourself the time and space to find someone whose mindset, pace, and risk tolerance matches your own. That can feel awkward at first, but over time, it becomes obvious that the quality of your days in the mountains is influenced by who you’re with more than where you go.
There are many ways to meet potential partners and one resource I like is SlabLab. It’s a platform that connects people thoughtfully based on a number of things. You can provide your experience, goals, and approach to risk. From there, you can see others and connect if you want. It’s not about ‘backcountry speed-dating’ or chasing partners blindly. It’s about meeting like-minded people, so you don’t end up finding out halfway up the skin track that you’re not on the same page.
At the end of the day, the way you choose your partners is up to you. Regardless, the right partner can transform a tour into a horror story, or an amazing experience. They make decisions easier, keep the mood light, and let you focus on enjoying the day. I suggest prioritizing people who listen, who are empathetic, and whose approach to the mountains aligns with yours. Most importantly, they should also be people that you get along with and enjoy being around. Build that trust gradually, communicate openly, and you’ll set yourself up for more rewarding seasons ahead.
Full disclosure, I know the owners of SlabLab and think the world of them and what they’re doing. In no way am I or SWS paid for this article. I wrote this because of my belief in the importance of picking the right partners. SlabLab is mentioned specifically because they share my thoughts on this subject. They have made it their mission to help others find partners of a similar mindset easier. Learn more about them, and join the community at SLABLAB.CO
Written By Caleb Burns